The importance of self-care and positivity
Celebrating Working Mother's Day as part of "MY JOURNAL" Book Tour
Thorughout the month of March, we are having a virtual book tour for my debut book, MY JOURNAL! For each stop, we are visiting a different site to offer author interviews, book reviews, behind-the-scenes content, excerpts from the book, guest posts by the author, and more. For the tour, stops will be on Substack, LinkedIn, Podcasts, Instagram, Facebook, and blogs - building community and supporting the work of some amazing people. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my work on such incredible platforms.
Tour details are HERE. Please note that there are still some open dates! If you are interested in participating and snagging a date, please let me know!
As we celebrate National Working Mother's Day, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to talk with Marva Bailer on this stop of the MY JOURNAL book tour! Marva is the insightful author behind the bestselling book Be Unexpected. Her book is a beacon of inspiration, urging us to embrace curiosity, courage, and collaboration in our professional lives.
Recognized as the top career book in the 2023 National Indie Excellence Awards, Be Unexpected underscores Marva's dedication to fostering curiosity, courage, confidence, and collaboration among leaders. With a focus on creating positive environments that nurture mutual trust, higher engagement, innovation, and deeper relationships, Marva champions curiosity and inclusivity. Through a creative collection of real-world-tested communication strategies, she empowers seasoned leaders and developing managers to bring positivity to the workplace and inspire meaningful change.
As a trailblazing female tech leader, Marva Bailer epitomizes innovation, storytelling, and fearlessness. Scarlett Abbot recognized Marva as a 2023 Game Changer. She disrupts the status quo and ignites innovation in every endeavor she undertakes.
As working mothers, Marva and I understand the unique challenges that come with career aspirations and family responsibilities. In our conversation today, we'll delve into working mothers’ struggles, the importance of self-care and positivity, the elusive quest for work/life balance, and the importance of finding your voice.
I also guide you through these topics in my new book, My Journal, which becomes your personal coach, helping you connect with yourself, make empowered choices, and unleash your full potential. Join us as we explore these topics, drawing from our experiences and offering practical insights to empower working mothers everywhere.
Let’s dive into this meaningful dialogue with Marva:
Maggie Maris: In Be Unexpected, you discuss creating a positive work environment. How can working mothers implement this in their professional and personal lives to reduce stress and increase productivity?
Marva Bailer: Embrace and leverage your empathy, listening, and nurturing skills. Make clear decisions, communicate, and stick to the outcome. Learn and model the skill of self-awareness, aka emotional intelligence, and communication, including nonverbal. Find your WHY via the WHY assessment, a precursor to Enneagram, DICE, HBDI, Meyers Briggs, and other leadership, decision, and personality-based indicators. Invest in learning generational communication methods of working and communicating.
Stop apologizing.
Do not apologize unless you do something serious or harmful to human life. Do not apologize for technology, a child's interruption, schedule challenges, etc. There is no need to point out unless it affects the outcome of the decision or work product; just roll with it (it is what a man would do).
Control the controllable; invest in areas you can control and influence.
Maggie: As a working mother, what advice do you have for other mothers trying to balance their careers, family lives, and time for self-care?
Marva: Do not call it balance; acknowledge that they are all important for a productive and healthy work environment. Faith, health, and family should be prioritized.
Maggie: What are some practical strategies or tips for working mothers to prioritize their well-being and mental health, especially during stressful times?
Marva: Educate yourself on how the brain reacts to stress, learn breathing techniques, mindfulness, and sleep. I learned a lot about this subject from the Vision Pursue Performance Mindset. Knowing that stress can ignite your actions is not always negative. Maggie, I know you have mastered the skill of journaling and self-reflection. Quiet time, even for ten minutes, can reset and recharge. JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out versus FOMO, is easily compared to others in today’s digital world.
Maggie: What inspired you to write "Be Unexpected," and how do you hope it will impact the lives of working mothers and professionals?
Marva: I sought a meaningful, fresh contribution during the first month of the COVID lockdown. I attended a webinar on how to write a book with four women I respect. Becky Blaylock, the Author of DARE, shared that you can write a book if you have written four speeches. I had seven speeches, so I went for it. A two-year process that I am open to sharing with others. The element of the book that has had the most impact on women is finding your voice. I have four chapters that detail how to be memorable, connect with others, and get your ideas to land by understanding verbal and nonverbal communication. Diminishers are a big surprise to people.
Starting sentences with “I am sorry to interrupt” and “ May I add?” “ This idea may sound crazy” diminishes the idea that follows.
Maggie: Can you share a personal experience or anecdote from your journey as a working mother that illustrates the power of self-reflection and positivity in overcoming challenges?
Marva: In my first VP role, managing the public sector for a hot startup that IBM later acquired, I was working on two large government agency-wide programs, multi-million in revenue with high stakes, and my mother, 60 years in age, a college dean, was dying of pancreatic cancer. I had two small children and a husband who traveled to NYC regularly for work. I compartmentalized the areas, was decisive, and asked for help from my spouse. Staying tight and consistent made a challenging time bearable.
Thank you, Marva!